i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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