That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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