just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
