4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
