Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i dont even know how to be here
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
