If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize