Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Damn victory sex feels great
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
