It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
