White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
