when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
