I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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