I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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