break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
