speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
