I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
