Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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