either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize