i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
honey bunches of taint.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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