remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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