My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
