"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
