Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize