it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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