dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
