it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
