I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
