i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
