I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
