He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
