I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I can't turn off my feet"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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