He is such a slut. More and more my type.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
