we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
