I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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