I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
