guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Randomize
