I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
