Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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