im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
