Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
