This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
