We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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