Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
