Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Found your dick twin last night
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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