I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
