it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
