I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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