ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You're like the curious george of whores
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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