What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
