Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
