I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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