I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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