PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
