Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
