I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Randomize
