I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
