laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
