talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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