It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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