Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
