let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
