shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
