Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
