I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
