The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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