If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
