Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
