Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
